| Friday, February 25, 2005 |
| Wannabe performer |
I really love to sing. I think it's in my blood. My dad likes to sing (he's the karaoke king). I've joined singing contests when I was younger although I didn't win. But that didn't stop from singing. Now that I'm older (still young though), my singing experience is limited to karaoke during our team building. I feel the desire for me to sing is still everytime I watch American Idol. I've enrolled previously at UP for a semester to study voice lessons. I wanted to continue that but I don't have time or I can't find an outlet where I would sing regularly.
Why did I say this? Well, my officemates Arnel, Myla and I signed up for a theater singing workshop in our company. I just get excited with this. I'm so happy that I still have something to look forward in the coming days =)
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posted by subhuman @ 6:23 PM  |
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| Tuesday, February 22, 2005 |
| Twisted... |
The past week has been a nightmare to me. All because of the project that I'm currently working at. First, all the resource that I've asked to help me with the project were pulled out becaus they have to work on other requirements. Second, our assembly test has encountered too many issues (it seems that everyday we're having a code change). Third, the people that I'm expecting to work on this project are not meeting my expectations (or I am expecting too much from them?). Fourth, our business analyst doesn't thinks that we're not working too hard (if she only know that we're working 12 hours a day just to make it to our freakin deadline).
Aarrgh!!!! This has been soo stressful! It came to a point when I just wish that I were sick so that they would see how they've been asking too much from me. What I'm currently experiencing made me think about the promotion thing again (although I've promised that I will not talk about this again). I asked for it alright, but looking at those people that got promoted last year, I don't think that they had endured what I'm currently going through. Tingin ko gaguhan na lang ang lahat. They're taking advantage of my desire to get a promotion that's why they're giving me insane tasks. Nakakabaliw na talaga.
Haay, I just wish that I'll get pass this through this. But up to what point? When I can't take it anymore? When I would cry and breakdown because of too much stress? God help me. |
| posted by subhuman @ 8:40 PM |
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| Sunday, February 20, 2005 |
| Lost soul |
Myla, Teng (my colleagues) and I left the office last Tuesday early (8 PM is considered early for someone who usually go home at 11 PM) to hear Brother Bo's inspirational message at Greenbelt chapel for the Lent Season. Sounds religious ba? Wala lang, I think I need spiritual enlightenment during these days. What I learned from that was that, we sometimes tend to get to be so overpreachy but we forget to do what we ought to do and leave everything to God. One more thing, he reminded us that it is okay for us to suffer and fail because suffering will get us closer to God. When we fail, we grow and gain wisdom. This experience makes us more mature.
Bro Bo's message hit me. I've been whining about this promotion thing when I should have seen it as an opportunity to grow. It wounded my pride but I admit that it has brought out my strengths and weaknesses. My outlook became different and I'm glad that I knew myself more because of that.
For the holy week, I'm planning to attend a retreat out of town. I really need to reflect on things spiritually. Sana may mahatak ako at sana makakita ako ng okay na retreat. |
| posted by subhuman @ 5:47 PM |
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| Restoring Inactive Friendships |
I've been communicating with my college friends lately which has contributed a lot in keeping my sanity during these days. Debbie has been telling me about her love problems, which I find ironic given my experience in relationships (I had none). Divina is asking for advise regarding her studies which is what I'm more comfortable doing (I'm a geek, what else can I say?). My college barkada are also planning our annual summer outing which I missed last year.
Debbie and Divina were my dormmates in college and are sisters. Debbie has been talking about her 'object of affection' and her pursuits in the dating game. Although we have different outlooks about dating, it is a nice opportunity to hear from her. Same thing with Divina. I miss the old college dorm days where we would discuss how's our day during dinner until 8 PM or until the wee hours in the morning when there's no classes on the next day. We treat each other as sisters. But that's meant to be discussed in another blog.
Meanwhile, my college barkada, better known as Parokya ni Eva, had a dinner last Tuesday. It was a post valentine dinner and Uly's treat at the same time, who just turned 24 last week and left for New Jersey. Tin, Mike, Jhen, Eva, Abie and Arnold were present. Shine missed that dinner because she just woke up by the time that we met. Jaymee, in the meantime, has not been communicating with us lately. Which is the reason why the barkada has tampo on her (so conotic ba?)
The thing about Jaymee is that, we're working in the same company. She used to work in Fujitsu but was later absorbed by my company when she worked as a contractor. We're (me, tin and uly) happy at first because we can communicate with her regularly at mas madali na syang hagilapin. Unfortunately, it was the opposite. She doesn't respond to our emails nor IM... haay, so near yet so far...
The Parokya has been exchanging emails recently, still planning for the summer outing and kulitan na rin. One of the remarks in that email probably hit Jaymee, prompting her to send an emotional email that left everyone in shock. I think that it was a result of miscommunication. I just wish that I would bump into her one of these days and talk to her about it (since we're working in the same building). Bahala na..
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My mom celebrated her 58th birthday. Unfortunately, she was diagnosed with goiter. Aside from that, she was diagnosed with gallstones and will be scheduled to be removed through surgery. She has been depressed about her health. Maybe its just part of the middle age crisis. I wish that she realize that she's still lucky enough to reach that age and to have those illness that are curable. I wish that she'll pass through that. |
| posted by subhuman @ 5:46 PM |
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| Potterite |
I'm a Harry Potter freak. Need proof? I've read all the 5 books more than once, had the 2 movies in DVD (in original copy), bought a calendar and daily planner from the US and took a picture of the billboard with me at Times Square. Heto pa, I joined a trivia contest held at the mall together with my other Potterite friends Uly, Jhen and Eva (buti na lang nobody saw me from the office).
Not enough? During our break from doing our thesis, my group mates would answer the trivia game posted from the Scholastic website. I always check the Leaky Cauldron website on a daily to know the latest news about anything that concerns Harry Potter. Mababaw na kung mababaw, but it brings the child in me.
For now, I'm looking forward to the release of the 6th book, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. I hope that one of these days, I could drop by at Powerbooks to sreserve a copy. The book by the way, will be released on July 16. This means that I should start reading the 5 books again to refresh my memory |
| posted by subhuman @ 4:24 PM |
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| Leaving... |
For the past 2 weeks, most of my friends are leaving the country. Candy and Marge (my onshore batchmates) left the country for Singapore while Uly (my college friend) and Issa (another onshore batchmate) left for another onshore assignment. Candy is working at GE as an IT consultant while Marge will be working as a Business analyst at Citibank. Meanwhile, Issa went to Phoenix for the second time as part of her role as a business analyst for American Express while Uly is a part of a transition team that will transfer his project from their client at New Jersey to Manila.
I'm no longer surprised with this. This already happened to me when Nina and Hazel left for another country. It's really sad to be close to these people tapos maiiwan lang pala. As Issa pointed out, 'mahirap talaga ang maiwanan and the best that I could do is to be happy for them and support them in whatever they do'. And I agree. I'm really glad when Nina sends a note about her trips (like in France and in Spain) and thought that what she did was the best thing for her. Same thing for Hazel. I noticed that my roommates leave the country for good so I texted my college roommate Ruby (a certified nurse who's currently studying medicine) if she'll do the same, and she confirmed that she has plans to do so.
Back to Candy and Marge, we are part of a lunch group while we're in Phoenix (with Hazel of course). It's weird that almost a year ago, we're sharing our lunch in the pantry at the office and now all of them are in Singapore. Well, I wish them luck. I just hope that they would find the fulfillment in their careers. Haay, I'll miss the yosi break I used to share with Candy and the kulitan with Marge.
On the other hand, I'm really happy for Issa and Uly. Uly has finally obtained his visa and I'm really excited that he will experience what I've considered the best part of his (single) life. For Issa naman who has been in an onshore assignment for the fourth time, I'm happy that she will meet another set of people whom she would consider as her family.
I still have other friends who are planning to leave the country soon. There's Sharon, my best friend way back in high school. She's a registered nurse and is studying for her NCLEX exam. She already found an employer in a hospital in Orange County California. Naku, masasanay na rin ako nito. |
| posted by subhuman @ 4:23 PM |
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| Moving... |
Since I've been always staying late at work(I usually go home at around 10:30 PM), I moved to an apartment nearer the office. My parent's house is 2 hours away from where I work. This means that I had spent 4 hours travelling everyday and I did this for more than a year. There have been attempts to live nearer the office but its just that I can't find the right place. In my first attempt, I had Nina (my training mate) as my room mate. Unfortunately, the place that we stayed was polluted and I had a pneumonia. While I was sick, Nina got a scholarship to study in Denmark. My mom decided that its good for me to go home instead so that she could ensure that I'm living a healthy lifestyle.
On my second attempt, I stayed in my grandaunt's house. I hesitated at first because I really don't like her but my dad insisted that I should stay there since he thinks that its safer if I stay with a relative's house. Since I don't like her, I spent more time in the office and gone home late. Sa madaling salita, pinalayas nya ako. To make matters worse, she had spread bad rumors against me. Most of the people say that I'm a shy and meek person but she really brought out the bitch in me.
The flat has one bedroom and is shared by 4 ladies. Hazel used to stay in that place but she left for Singapore. When I told her what happened with me and my grandaunt, she offered me her slot in that apartment. Now I'm sharing that place with Mavic, Lee and Annrhee. Mavic and Lee are working as research executives in AC Nielsen while Annrhee works as a developer in San Miguel Corporation. Lee, Annrhee and Hazel studied in the same university while Mavic is Lee's officemate. This was how they all came together.
First thing that I noticed about them is that they are all health buffs. Most of them would eat fruits for dinner and they always go to the gym. Since they've know each other for 3 years and I'm new one, it seems hard to fit in. I'm still in the phase where I'm trying to get to know them so I don't have much to say. But I could tell that they are friendly and nice. I just hope that we'll have a harmonious and lasting relationship.
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| posted by subhuman @ 4:21 PM |
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| Sunday, February 13, 2005 |
| Something Mushy… |
Alright, change topic.. Since the Valentines day is fast approaching, let me write something about Love. I saw my former dorm mate Debbie last Sunday. We watched a movie and ate (no wonder why we often complain about our weight) and one of the things that we talked about is the L word. I admit that at this point of my life, I wanted to experience what it’s like to be in a relationship but I’m very afraid to do so. She mentioned to me that I should give dating a shot. I told her that I don’t believe in dating because I think its insincere and that the guys would judge me based on their first impression. She told me that I need to get out of my comfort zone and take risks. It’s funny because I gave Debbie this advice before and I can’t remember saying this to her.. Love is like a roller coaster. It seems scary but you wouldn’t know what it feels like unless you try it.
It seems that I’m too old to have this dilemma because most of the people at my age are getting married. When I like a guy, I really keep it to myself . I’m afraid that it’s not worth for me to show it because I’m afraid of being rejected. There are also instances where I met some guys but I was the one who would stop the communication. I know I’m turning into a pathetic loser. My best friend told me that I’m a spinster forever if I continue doing this. Oh God I hope not.
Debbie mentioned that in order for me to be loved, I should learn how love myself first. If this is the case, then I guess I need to spend time doing that. Today may not be the right time for me to be involved, but I'm hoping that when the right time comes, I'll cherish it.
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| posted by subhuman @ 2:42 PM |
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| Sunday, February 06, 2005 |
| Toxic |
As I mentioned previously, the project that I’m working on is now in limbo and now the Phoenix people want me to send a daily status report. I have submitted myself to a very stressful work and I reached my peak last Friday where I have to attend a status meeting, create a status report and answer all issues that arises. Given the events for the past week, it’s a good thing that I didn’t have a nervous breakdown or heart attack because of all the pressure. But I admit that my brain is not functioning properly to the point that I can’t absorb anything!
Okay.. I asked my manager that I want a promotion. But given what’s happening right now, I just think that everything is overwhelming. But I’m not yet at the point where I want to give up (I should not..). And I was able to get the promotion thing out of my mind. But all it takes is to have a requirement that’s turning into a nightmare.
Geez, I just hope that I could bare everything. I know that I can surpass this kind of things.. I survived my thesis phase in college, which is the most stressful phase for a college student. I just need to step back and re-assess what I need to do and how to manage everything. And also, I need a break..
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| posted by subhuman @ 1:15 PM |
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| About Me |
passionate about music; an aspiring teacher; a frustrated mathematician; an explorer |
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