Note: I apologize for these late posts. Unfortunately, there's no Internet access from our unit so my entries were posted rather late.
Due to the incident with Kathleen, I realized the importance of having your family at your side especially at times of illness. I remembered those times when my family took care of me when I was in the hospital and I really appreciated it. I may have friends who can look after me if I get sick here but it’s still different compared to the care that my family can give me so I always pray that my friends won’t get sick.
I was admitted in the hospital twice - the first one happened when I had an appendectomy during High School a few weeks before my High School prom (that’s why I looked slim in my prom pictures) and the second one happened on my 22nd birthday when I suffered from acute bronchitis. Yes you heard it right, I spent my birthday in the hospital.
One thing that I learned when I had an appendectomy was that I don’t want to be undergo a surgery procedure as much as possible. I recalled the night after the surgery when I was screaming in pain due to the wound caused by the operation. I want to stand up but I was too weak to do so. That’s why I don’t understand why some people would consider plastic surgery even if it’s not necessary. Even though I was still groggy from the anesthesia, I felt my mother’s embrace. It may not be the cure for the pain that I endured but it really helped a lot, knowing that she’s there.
On my 22nd birthday, I can’t help but be grateful to my family who were with me during those times. I really appreciated my friends who visited me - Debbie (my dorm mate), the Parokya - Eva, Jayms, Shine and Jen, and my Cycling buddies Arnel and Janjan. I have considered being sick as the most vulnerable state that a person can be and for them to visit me strengthen my friendship with them because I know that I can rely on these people. For me that’s the true essence of friendship - being there without asking for it. It may not ease the physical pain, but at least their at my side to make me feel better.
Although I realized the meaning of friendship while I was sick, it also made me understand that I cannot rely on all my friends at all times. I was disappointed with my High school friends because they did not even bother to visit me (my birthday fell on a Sunday) even though I continue to reach out to them. That’s why I’ve considered the friendship that I had with them not that meaningful.
Since I realized the importance of being there during illness, I always try my best to be with my family and friends during those times. I hope that my mother felt it when she had her uterus and thyroid gland removed. I wished that this helped a lot while Arnel was battling with cancer, among others. This is why I would am willing go for the extra mile, just to make them feel that I’m there.
Since I had to leave the office two Fridays ago to prepare for Minnie’s birthday party, I had to work on Saturday because I had to complete the task that was given to me because I had a deadline the next Monday. I worked at the office at around 6:00 PM because I hang out at Minnie’s place. Since I was no longer productive at around 9:10 PM, I decided to go home.
When I arrived at the gate of Menara Jaya Condominium, I saw Ace, Francis and Rommel, my colleagues here in Malaysia. It seems that Ace wanted to borrow my umbrella because it was drizzling outside, but got shy at the last minute.
When I reached the pool area on my way to the elevator, the fire alarm rang. I decided not to take the lift and waited to hear what happened. A lot of people were running around. One guy from Daniel’s Café (the canteen in our unit) talked to one of the residents who came down due to the fire alarm, and he said that there was a fire in the 14th floor (our unit is in the 13th floor). I immediately called my Agri to check on her. Fortunately, she was on her way to the airport to pick her parents. Mars is currently in Shanghai China for a business trip.
I spoke to Agnes and her Gio, my colleagues who were living in Menara Jaya Condominium as well. I remembered Kathleen who was living in the 14th floor. I got worried that she’s alone since I saw her housemates, Rommel and Francis at the gate earlier that night. I tried to call her but she was not answering the phone. I learned from our few neighbors that the fire was indeed from the 14th floor and that the fire was already gone. I went to the 14th floor and it turned out that my instincts were right - it was their unit that was caught on fire. I immediately called her and she was still not answering her phone. I went downstairs and looked for her and I saw her at the first floor, was in shocked and was crying hysterically. The thing with her was that she is 6 months pregnant.
What happened was that one of her housemates left the kettle boiling. Her housemates left and failed to inform her about the kettle. Kathleen just heard an explosion and saw that their kitchen was on fire. She grabbed a pale of water from her bathroom to destroy the fire but to no avail. After a few minutes, she went outside and pressed the fire alarm button. Then she put all the things that she can salvage in her balikbayan box and took it together with her luggage. Fortunately, a lot of the residents and security were able to respond quickly. One of them bravely removed the LPG tank from the kitchen. Talk about having an angel!
After a few minutes, Kathleen decided to stay in our unit. She was having difficulty in breathing at that time and due to her delicate situation, we decided to bring her to the hospital. There were 3 of us who went to the hospital - Kathleen, Rose and I. It was already 1 AM when we reached the emergency room of Pantai Medical Center. Only 1 companion is allowed in the ER so it was Rose who accompanied Kathleen since she’s a mother as well and can totally relate to her condition. While waiting outside the ER, I got a call from her housemates who were on their way to the hospital.
When Francis and Rommel arrived at the hospital, we were informed that Kathleen needs to be admitted and that we need to give a deposit of RM 3,000. Where the hell are we supposed to get that amount of money during that time? Part of our benefits while working here in Malaysia is hospitalization insurance but it is still different when we have a health card. That’s when I really appreciate the value of having one. Fortunately, Francis was able to plead to admit Kathleen and promised that our employer would come the next day to pay them.
Anyway, Agri called me because her family were locked out from our unit (the keys that she took with her were not complete). So I had to rush home to open our unit. It was already 3 PM when we got in.
I woke up the next day at 8 AM and cooked beef sopas, fish and longganisa. Ace went with me that day to the hospital. Good thing that Kathleen was doing fine that night and she was no longer suffering from chesty cough due to the medicines that were given to her. The doctor said that she can go home but were waiting for Edmund (our employer) to arrive to settle the hospital bills. Ace and Rommel went home at around lunch time because they need to settle things with regards to the fire that happened earlier. Francis and I remained in the hospital to accompany Kathleen until Edmund arrives.
Edmund arrived at around 3 PM and Kathleen was discharged from the hospital. They took a look at their unit to see the damages while I went ahead with my movie date with Gen to watch at KLCC. Kathleen stayed with me in a week until the carbons in their unit were cleaned.
It was a long weekend with me at that time. I can’t help but admire the camaraderie that the Filipinos show during these times. I also have a high regard for Kathleen’s housemates who demonstrated a strong sense of responsibility. Witnessing these things strengthen my faith in people. Thank God that nobody was hurt in this situation.
Minnie was planning her birthday a few months back and she assigned me and Gen as her party coordinators. Fortunately, Gen and I love organizing events like this so we accepted the challenge hehehe. We want this occasion to become very special for her. So Gen and I took our role seriously, by meeting every weekend in our unit to plan for everything - from the blog (which will serve as our birthday present for her), the menu, the decorations, music (karaoke), invitation - in other words, everything! Kinarir talaga namin. We had a lot of options back then. Good thing that Gen and I both love giving surprises and we're both looking forward on watching Minnie's reaction.
Anyway, a few weeks before her birthday, Minnie had her so-called birthday tantrums. So we felt sort of pressured to make it a very special birthday. The thing that only Minnie was aware of is that she will have a birthday party at her unit with the menu that she requested from her friends. So here are the things that we came up to make it a special day for her:
1. Blog. Our goal was to make her cry on her birthday and we thought of the blog as a way to do it. The blog was a big challenge because it's hard to ask people if they can provide a write up for Minnie but all we got was birthday message. Second, not all the people whom we want to contribute was able to do so. We even made an attempt to ask for a video of Kyle greeting her mom but it was impossible to do so (hindi na talaga kinaya ng powers namin). Even the original template and the video code that we wanted to use are not cooperating. So we just did the best that we can do. When we gave the link of the blog, we put the URL inside a card. It was funny because when we gave her the card, some of them had to make last minute changes and we had to use her laptop to do post the entries hihihi (of course, we need to shut her out of her room). Fortunately, we were successful with our goal - we made Minnie cry.. but it was tears of joy. By the way, the blog can be found here.
2. Flowers. Every woman loves to have flowers right? What we planned a few months back was to ask her crush (let's refer to him as Mr Darcy) to deliver her the flowers that we're going to buy for her. We even had an accomplice to make it happen since Gen and I don't have the nerve to ask Mr Darcy to do that. But since there has been a significant development between Minnie and Mr Darcy (and it's not just a drooling phase) and we don't want to preempt things by doing that. So Gen and I had to rely on ourselves on giving her flowers. So what we came up was to give her a bouquet of flowers and place it in her room when she comes home on her birthday. Fortunately, a week before her birthday, Minnie and I stopped by a flower shop and I found out that she loves daisies and sunflowers - an unusual choice for a woman. Anyway, Gen and I barely had time on her birthday with the preperations to buy her flowers personally so we asked Rey to buy her a bouquet, who willingly obliged. It was funny because I suddenly realized that this would definitely leave people intrigued - and it did! But the thing is, our original plan still materialized - a guy giving her a bunch of flowers :)
3. Balloons. We told Minnie to have balloons on her birthday but she said that does not have a budget for this. Again, we want it to become extra special for her so Gen and I planned to still have it. Our initial plan was to buy 50 balloons for her birthday and have them all pumped with the help of Dru, Osang, Kristin and Em. But Gen and I were not able to plan ahead so our next best option was to buy balloons. We asked Donn, one of our colleagues where we can buy the balloons. Gen bought 15 green balloons and she had to pick it up from the store - I could only just imagine a tall girl holding 15 balloons walking on the street - it was definitely a picture worth shooting! hehehe.. Anyway, we're glad that Minnie loved the balloons :)
4. Videoke. Rey bought a Kara vision system from the Philippines and he wanted to give it a try. He brought it to our unit last Saturday and we had a blast. Minnie even rehearsed all the songs that she wanted to sing (I've Fallen for you, I think I'm in Love) but was not able to do so. Of course, we don't want to preempt things with Mr Darcy (*wink wink).
5. Explosion. Since Rey left his Karavision in our unit, Agri was ecstatic and sang videoke every night. One of the songs that she sang was Explosion by Menudo. We both got curious with its dance steps and we ended up searching for it in the Youtube. Agri and I later followed its footsteps and we ended up practicing (and laughing) every night. Needless to say, it was the much anticipated performance of the night! Everyone was laughing with Agri, who wouldn't want to start her dance number without shooting a video. And Minnie sang the song while 4 of us - Agri, Gen, Issa and I danced. As expected, it was Agri who carried the show (the Robby Rosa of the group). Unfortunately, the video was too big that I can't upload it in Youtube as of the moment.
6. Menu. Minnie prepared a lot of food for her birthday. Her menu includes Buffalo wings, shrimp with oyster sauce, chicken salad, some fruits (to which Dru got injured while slicing..aaw) and hotdogs. In addition to that, Minnie asked her friends to cook other menu - lumpia from Charisse, quesadilla from Deck (Jeng's BF), crispy pata from Bing, Revner and Monico while I cooked beep, I mean, beef stroganoff. Also, we ended up having 2 cakes that night - both of these are chocolate indulgence from Secret Recipe.
7. The Crush. Of course, I need to put this even though as party coordinators, the best thing that we can do is to invite him. Actually, Minnie was having second thoughts inviting him. Since we already asked Mr Darcy to contribute for her blog, we convinced her to invite him as well. A few days before her birthday, they had a date (whoops! am I revealing too much? Well this is my blog and I can write what I want) and everyone was looking forward on their interaction during her birthday. It was funny because while Minnie was overwhelmed, reading her blog in her room, Bing asked Mr Darcy to take her picture inside the room and Bing closed the door. Everyone was betting on whats going to happen, and as expected, nothing happened. Still, it was part of the fun that night and one of the reasons why the party was memorable.
That night we sang until 5 AM. We were really tired but we had fun - our goal was to made Minnie cry. And she did but those were tears of joy. Gen and I were kidding that we can put up an events organizer business (and why not) as both of us love to organize things and give surprises, especially to people who are dear to us. It was a memorable night indeed.
Of course, its now my turn to give thanks to those who helped us - for the people who contributed to the blog (you know who you are), to Jeng for not spilling any info when Minnie asked for it and for keeping Minnie off limits in her house while we prepared for it, to Dru for helping out with the fruits and other preperations, to Rey for buying flowers, to Bing sa pambubugaw (bwahahaha!!) and to my partner in crime, Gen for all the efforts that you've put into this. I'm looking forward for our next project bwahahaha!!! =)
PS: Sorry because I have limited pictures as of this writing. The only picture worth posting where I have a copy was taken by the bday celebrant herself =P Don't worry, I'll update this post once I get the nice pictures. Also, I'm still trying to figure out how to upload the video in Youtube so please bear with me =)
Dru, one of my colleagues here in Malaysia, asked me to contribute in his project for his Catholic community, Bukas Loob sa Diyos. His project is known as Back to Basics, which is a site that contains the reflections for each Sunday's readings.
When he found out that I have my own blog, he assigned me to write an article about the Anima Christi - which was the Gospel last June 10. Since I was on the writing mood last Sunday, I went to Coffee Bean right after the mass and wrote an article. Thanks to this article, it caused me to reflect more on the Sunday readings the way that I never used before - I researched in the Internet on the different interpretations of the reading, the way how I did my homework in school. Here is the article that I wrote:
Jesus said to his disciples, "Have them sit down in groups of about fifty." They did so and made them all sit down. Then taking the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, he said the blessing over them, broke them, and gave them to the disciples to set before the crowd. They all ate and were satisfied. And when the leftover fragments were picked up, they filled twelve wicker baskets -Luke 9:14-17
PS: Thanks to Anai V. a Co-Filipino worker here in Malaysia who without any reservation witnessed through her reflection on the Gospel. May God bless the works of her hands.
June 10, 2007 Sunday Readings: Gn 14:18-20 Ps 110:1-4 1 Cor 11:23-26 Lk 9:11b-17
Reflection:
My parents used to work in the Philippine National Police, which is sadly considered to be one of the corrupt institutions in our country. All sorts of temptations are there - with only a small amount of salary that they receive, they can use their power to "earn" extra money to make ends meet. Even though my family was struggling financially, they didn't abuse that power - we continued to live based on what they're earning. I was in college back then, studying in a private university and was staying in a dormitory, which makes it more expensive. Instead of abusing that power, they chose to fulfill their duty to the people. I remembered once that my parents had an argument when my mother brought home a few "confiscated" fruits from her office. My father did not let me eat those fruits - fruits that were taken by force from the vendors who's only source of income is to sell. For him, its like stealing the food on their plate. However, their sacrifices had paid off - I have graduated after 4 years in college and my mother was once named as the best policewoman for her outstanding community programs in her precinct.
The gospel of Luke tells us that we don't need all the material things in the world in order to be complete. Jesus Christ fed 5000 people with only 5 loaves of bread and 2 pieces of fish. All people were contented with only a small amount of food that Jesus provided them. By receiving Christ in the Holy Communion, we become one with Him and by doing so, we made a covenant with Him - for us to continue have faith in Him and to live according to His teachings in exchange for eternal life. Anai V.
Soul of Christ, sanctify me. Body of Christ, save me. Water from the side of Christ, wash me. Passion of Christ, give me strength.
Hear me Jesus, hide me in Thy wounds, That I may never leave Thy side. From all the evil that surrounds me, defend me. And when the call of death arrives, bid me come to Thee, That I may praise Thee with Thy saints, forever.
I am curvy - or what others call FAT. Its in my genes. My cousins from my father's side have the same body type as I do. I was born to have a big bone structure and a slow metabolic rate. So I gain weight easily.
When I was a child, I was a thin kid. I have no trace of bulge in my body. My mother was really worried why I was a sticky kid so she gave me a lot of vitamins and food supplement (batang Sustagen ako noon). Unfortunately, all those vitamins worked for only a few months..
When I entered the adolescence stage, it became evident that I need to watch what I eat as my body blew up easily (ala Aunt Petunia when Harry Potter got mad - nah! that's an exaggerated statement). My mother insisted me to do situps every morning and to reduce what I eat. Yes, I did it when I was a teenager because my mother only told me so. But at that time, I have limited choices when it comes to shopping. As a teenager, I would only stick to the clothes that would fit me - which is limited to jeans and shirt. In other words, I became a boyish kind of person and don't care how I would look like.
Even though I was aware at such a young age, I have a big body, I didn't starve myself to become thin. I'm not crazy to do that. It was only later that I realized why she wants me to lose all the excess bulge. People have offered me food supplements and tea but I did not take it as I was scared in its side effects. If ever I wanted to lose weight, I don't want to do it because I was pressured by people around me. I wanted to do it because of my own motivation.
You see, society in the Philippines is harsh for people like me - especially during commuting. I had a dose of dreadful commuting stories and in order for me to deal with this, I turn into this bitchy person. It was very difficult for me to shop as I can't find my size in clothes that I like, so that's why as much as possible, I don't want to shop. As if this kind of treatment of strangers were not enough, people whom I know (or worse, people whom I was related to) have also made insensitive comments about me.
At first, not wanting to embarass my parents, I just let go of this comments. But later, I realized that I don't want them to see me just as a body; that I'm also human and that I have feelings as well. It is a sad fact that people would not notice my good traits and the things that I have achieved is still nothing because of the way I look.
Being a woman, I was not spared from the "I-am-so-fat" whining of my friends. I know that guys have this kind of dilemma with their girl friends and I can totally relate with them. Most of the time, I am in a good mood and I just ignore these statements. But sometimes, when I had enough, the bitchy side of me comes out so I asked them if they ever bought clothes from the plus size section or if they ever experienced being rejected from an FX. This has been effective to shut them up.
A few years after I got a job, I started to become a member in Fitness first. I religiously did my exercise for 10 months. And I lost a lot of weight. I may not have the model-type of body at that time but it was at that time when I got in touched with my feminine side by wearing makeup. Maybe it was the effect of having endorphines in my body that I become partly confident of myself.
I stopped going to the gym during my onshore assignment; and I lived in an environment that is kind for people like me. I am not frustrated when it comes to shopping as I find my size in the clothes that I like. The average size of an American woman is size 14 - the same category as I have. People are sensitive about your weight and there are enough support groups to lose weight. This is one of the main reasons why I really treasured my onshore experience.
Unfortunately, due to my sedentary lifestyle in the US, I became huge once again. My job became demanding that it became so hard for me to go back to the gym. So my dilemma got back again. I sufferred from low self-esteem which is apparent on the way how I carry myself.
When I moved here in Malaysia, my weight problem became serious - I was obese and I was at my heaviest, partly becaue of my depression with my old job. My gastro-interologist advised me to lose weight to reduce the occurence of my acid reflux disease. With the new environment, I had enough time to go back to the gym and to plan what I eat. Among the Asian countries,it is the Malaysian women who have most weight problems. So the chances for me to find clothes that would fit me is bigger. Also, I find curvy women here who are comfortable with their own skin and I can't help but to be inspired by them. My mode of transportation are limited to bus, cabs and train so I don't encounter the horrible experiences that I used to have way back home.
I was also lucky that I have friends and family who were supportive and made me feel good about myself, and to help me realize that being sexy does not come from the size of the clothes that I wear but on how I look at myself. It helped a lot as I learned to accept myself, and I thank them a lot for their encouragement. And because of this, I started to become confident with the clothes that I wear and to explore with my feminine side. I have started to dress up and to put on makeup. I began getting compliments because of this and it really felt good. I started to became more confident to do the things that I love as well.
I later realized that being a curvy woman is part of my character. It was because of this that I learned to believe in myself so that others will accept me as well, that for others to appreciate me, it should come from me.
So will I wear a bikini when I go to the beach? Probably, not yet. I still don't have enough endorphines for me to do that. But who knows in the future? Only time can tell ;-)
One of my closest friends here in Malaysia is back in the dating scene. Actually, my friend has a lot of admirers here and most of them have asked her for a date. She refused because she's not attracted to them. Fortunately, after months of secretly drooling on her crush (checking him out while she's taking a break and chatting with me at my desk), he finally asked her out. I can't help but laugh as I recall what happened, because it seemed like it was my friend who asked the guy out formally when I relayed a message from her to confirm if their "movie night" would push through. The guy, who happened to be my teammate, can't help but laugh while he confirmed their date, probably in disbelief that my friend was seriously considering his invitation to watch a movie with him.
At this stage where women our age talk like the protagonists from Sex and the City, their story is like watching a Filipino teenage drama TGIS. Come on, their pace is so slow when in fact, it is obvious that they like each other. A lot of her girl friends would agree with me with this statement.
Another friend meanwhile, shares her sentiments on being single (pareho kc kaming NBSB wehehe). Since we have no experience, we usually discuss about this based from our observation. Also, both of us are not committed, we can't help ourselves but giggle on some men.
With these topics - sharing kilig moments with a crush and giggling (to the point of secretly stalking a guy sometimes), I can't help but remember the friendship that I've built with my dormmates. These are the kind of things that we usually discuss and everyone has been very open about it. Until now, we still keep in touch with updates with our lives. Anyway, it's been a long time since I last felt it and I'm glad to have found that kind of friendship once again :-) I hope that this kind of friendship is something that would last a lifetime =)
My previous employer has been aggressively hiring its former employees - the salary that they offer is really competitive. Many of my former colleagues who have left our previous company are currently making negotiations. I told my parents about this while they're still here in Malaysia. They've seen how I've lived my life here - going home late after a busy day from work, and doing all the household chores, to the point of staying up late. And because of this, they want me to look for a job in the Philippines if possible. This, of course is parent's instinct.
A lot of my colleagues were asking me if I have any plans of coming back. I would say that I would try my luck on the upcoming ISCM Idol (my current company's own version of the American Idol) and in order for me to join, I need to renew my contract. I admit that when I left my previous company, I had many issues back then but what I mentioned when I left was because of financial reasons (which is true in the first place). But it is not the reason why I wanted to stay here in Malaysia. In fact, I learned to free myself from all the angst and bitterness that I felt before and to forgive and let go so that I can move on. Looking back, I realized that I had a great work environment because I felt that a mentor was looking after my career growth and the workplace has the best professional atmosphere.
Since my job here is on a contractual basis, I learned myself to become emotionally detached from my job. I don't have to worry about the competition for me to climb in the corporate world. Yes, my job is not stable but the things that I learned in my current job are the skills required in other financial institutions as well, so there are lots of opportunities in store for a mainframe programmer like me. My previous job is one of the top IT solutions provider in the world but supporting a credit card system in a bank allowed me to develop my technical skills.
But the main reason why I decided to stay here is personal. First of all, I found real friends - people whom I laugh with during happy times and gives me a shoulder to cry when I feel down. I get to know people not on which project they were involved but on what are their values and what's important to them. It also allowed me to accept people for who they are and not to become judgemental. It was during onshore where I felt I had this kind of relationship with people and I was lucky that I was able to maintain friendship with some of them until now.
The next reason why I like to be here is because I learned to accept and love myself. It helped a lot that people around me made me feel that I am beautiful no matter how much I weigh and I am thankful to my family and friends who's been very supportive. The society way back home has been very harsh for people like me which is one of the reasons why my self-esteem was affected.
Being here in Malaysia allowed me to travel a lot as well. With the semi-annual MATTA fair event, my travel plans are attainable =) Also, since I am here, my parents are forced to visit me once in a while so my dream to bring them out of the country is fulfilled as well =)
Lastly, it is here where I find my identity. Doing my household chores tested my discipline and patience to endure all of these. I have to become responsible in every action that I take. My people skills needs to be applied everywhere I go - in the office and at home. Also, being here allowed me to explore my interests and passion. These are the things that I need to know in order for me to identify my purpose later on.
I think I've been attacked by the so-called blogger's block so this is why I don't have the uber long blog entries that I used to do. I have a lot of topics that I'm planning to write and I don't have the energy to write about it. =( Or maybe, I think my life has become predictable and boring that I don't have something interesting to write. I also miss the times where I can just sit down in front of my PC and pour all my thoughts in writing (ala Carrie in Sex and the City) I'll try my best to update my blog in the next couple of days.
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Our visitors - Tita Wilma, Sunshine and Tita Marissa went back to the Philippines. But before they left, we had a dinner a the Little Vietnam restaurant in Midvalley. It was supposedly a meal treated by Tita Marissa; but when the bill arrived, Agri took it. It was funny how Tita Marissa chased one another to see who'll be the person who would chase the bill. In the end, Agri won so Tita Marissa treated us for an ice cream.
Anyway, I hope that they enjoyed their vacation in Malaysia. It's nice to meet these people, and I hope that they would come again hehehehe.
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My boss finally approved my leave on July. I'm excited to go back to the Philippines after 6 months. Unlike in my previous trip where I barely stayed at home, this time, I will make it a point to stay home. Also, I'm excited to meet my friends and catch up - including the Harry Potter movie gimmick that is a tradition among my college friends. =D
