| Thursday, July 28, 2005 |
| What If? |
Does it occur to you to ever ask yourself the question "what if?"
My friend Eva has a posted series of blog related to this question. That we are the ones who create our own destiny? I was somehow inspired with this that I began to ask these questions for myself..
What if I pursued Computer Engineering instead of a degree in Mathematics? On the day when I was about to submit my credentials at Mapua, I found myself lining up for a slot in Computer Science in the corridors of UST. Assuming I ended up working in the current company where I'm currently employed, I'd probably be still struggling.
What if I chose to Actuarial Science as my major instead of Computer Science? The department head has finally approved my shift in major. Lexie and Erika, 2 of my friends, have changed their major and their thesis was voted as the best in their batch. I could have been a part of that project and could have held my head high because of that achievement.
What if I enrolled in graduate school 2 years ago? I was trying to decide if I should get a masteral degree in Applied Math or Information Management 2 years ago but I opted not to so that I can focus on my career. Probably, I haven't gone onshore if I still have a degree to complete.
I do not regret every decision that I made in the past because it has a big influence on my character now. And most importantly, I have met a lot of people that I really care of. I still believe that we are the ones who create our destiny and that we are responsible for our actions.
Let me end this blog with a phrase from the poem Invictus.. "I am the Master of my Fate, I am the captain of my soul". |
posted by subhuman @ 8:35 PM  |
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| Monday, July 25, 2005 |
| Awkward... again |
Does it occur to you that you've been in a situation that due to luck, you got rid off... only to find yourself in that same situation again? Like, I had these experiences that left a bad impression on me but I got lucky that I got out of it, not because I learned how to deal with it but fate had been on my side during that time. Unfortunately, that thing is bound to happen again. I don't know if I've learned enough with the events in the past and it would help me cope with those situations again or will I suffer the same fate that I used to have. Perhaps I've got wisdom that would enable me to survive this time. Or maybe, I've allowed my prejudice to dictate what my outlook would be.
Still, it could be another opportunity to correct the bad impressions that it had marked and change my perception about some things. |
| posted by subhuman @ 6:26 PM |
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| Snapshot |
Next to music, the next thing that fascinates me is photography. The most expensive thing that I bought was a digital camera and I would say that I have no regrets when I bought it (although most of the time, I've attempted to sell it to buy the latest model of sony cybershot). I took a photography class before but I did not enjoy it because most of the people who attended that class are photographers so I have to settle for a book that I bought at Powerbooks.
A friend told me that pictures is an investment of memories. And I agree. Every special moment that I've been to needs to have a photograph taken. Wherever my friends and family have a special occasion or when I visit a place (including my alma mater, UST), I want to have a picture taken. And thanks to digital technology, I've saved myself money because i dont have to buy films.
One regret that I have though, is that I wished I took a lot of pictures in the dormitory which is one of the best moments of my college life. Unlike my college barkadas, I barely see my dorm mates since most of them are medical students and are required to have duties at the hospitals as interns. The last time that we had a gimmick when almost everyone is present is a few days after I graduated from college. I only have constant communication with Debbie.
During free time, I love to look at pictures which reminds me of the experiences that I had and the people that I meet. I love to reminisce of all the things that I've been through. Even for just a simple dinner as long as I'm with the people that I care most. Photographs allow me to go back and revisit all the memorable experiences that I had. I may spent more than a thousand bucks in printing but it is a worthy investment. Ü |
| posted by subhuman @ 6:25 PM |
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| Galera Trip |
As a despedida for Bong, the whole team went to Puerto Galera and spent 2 days there. It was my first time to go to there and last year, I missed all my chances of going to that place because I was onshore and I watched Alicia Keys' concert (which is excellent by the way). Finally, I had my chance to swim at the shores of Oriental Mindoro.
I stayed in our apartment in Makati the night before our trip. Unfortunately, there was no water supply so I have to buy 30 bags of ice water and contend myself with a pale of water, just enough for me to take a batch twice (before bedtime and on the next day) and brush my teeth. I succeeded in meeting my needs with the limited supplies that I had. And right after I took a bath that day, the water supply was restored again. Haay.. ang buhay nga naman mapagbiro...
But I did not let that thing ruin my day. It would be my first time to go to the beach this year and the last time that I've been to the beach was when Hazel and I went to Hawaii (which a memorable experience for us by the way Ü). The team met at the office and we left at around 7 AM in the morning. Joining me in this trip are Bong, Cindy, Janjan, Maddy, Abby, Denise, Eric C, William and Don. Maddy, being the bubbly in our group, entertained us with her toilet humor stories and eventually led her to discuss her "interesting" immersion experience.
We arrived at the Batangas port at around 11 AM. We had a 1-hour and 45-minute ride from Batangas to the White Beach in Puerto Galera. On our way to Galera, we say some dolphins and flying fishes. It's good to see these creature in their natural habitat where they can move freely. I've seen dolphins before at theme parks but I somehow consider them as prisoner because they have to live on the dictates of humans.
Fortunately, nature must've known we're in Galera because it was sunny.. a perfect day for swimming. We enjoyed the strong waves while swimming and lay on the white beach. There are also some tourists in the area but the place is not crowded since the summer season has come to an end. That night, I've tasted the sweetness of Mindoro sling, a drink that I think is similar to a fruit punch. That night, we drank at the beach and asked revealing questions against one another. By the way, nobody got tipsy that night.
The next day, I had the opportunity of taking beach pcitures. I really like to take pictures of all the places that I've visited. Among the pictures that I took, here are my favorites..
We left at around 12 noon. To sum it up, its been a good thing to have the team building as it loosens up every one of us and see a different side of our personalities. |
| posted by subhuman @ 6:24 PM |
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| Aftermath |
Finally, after several months of endless whining and stress, its finally over. And with just a snap, it's all gone..
Gone are the long emails that I receive every morning and the several emails that I have to make. The people who would send me messages and the phone calls that I receive no longer stress me out. And people would no longer come to me to ask questions that would make me want to hide and not to go to the office again.
So what did I gain from this experience? A lot. Looking back, it seems that I was one of the contestants in this reality TV show (the producers would really love to have me for I am so vulnerable). I cried twice because of this. I sacrificed a lot for this and I know that my world revolved entirely on my job (which is not healthy by the way) and forgot to take care of myself. I spent my time entirely in the office and had it as my second home (sounds pathetic but true.)
Anyway, this has been a learning experience for me. Because of this project, I will not know what I can be like as a leader. I hate to admit it but my fate of not getting the promotion last year had a good effect on me because that event made me humble and look things in different perspective. As what my supervisor told me, I have earned wisdom because of this. Was it painful? Yes (nope..this is not a love story) but somehow, the pain that I felt made me become determined to prove my worth and how valuable I can be. And I see now I've seen that people get to appreciate me.
I've waited for so long for an opportunity to be able to prove what I can do. When I had it, it required me to give all the best that I can give. But it's worth it. I've gained respect from people and earned confidence with my abilities. The last time that I felt this way was when I was in college when we did our thesis.
Enough about work. I'll just shut up and move on. |
| posted by subhuman @ 6:23 PM |
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| Never Gone |
After a long time of not logging on this blog.. I'm finally back.
A lot of things happened in the past few weeks that had an impact to me and I'm somehow relieved that I didn't write my thoughts immediately.
So just like the title of the latest album of the Backstreet Boys (which by the way used to be one of my favorite boy bands while I was a teenager), here is again my comeback blog..
I know that this blog entry sucks.... But this is my blog and I can write about anything that I want (sounds like a line from a cheesy song.. which made this blog even worse) |
| posted by subhuman @ 6:19 PM |
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| About Me |
passionate about music; an aspiring teacher; a frustrated mathematician; an explorer |
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