| Saturday, March 05, 2005 |
| Breakdown |
Two nights ago, I reached the peak of my stress level. The issues that I encountered during those days were soo dreadful. My manager discussed the status of our project and asked a lot of questions. I admit that. So he commented that I should "be more on top of things.."
That statement hit me really hard. I know it may not be his intention to hurt me but what he said really pissed me off. My current role requires me to be on top of the issues across all applications within our project. In addition to that, since my team lead is based in Phoenix, I have to fill her shoes in Manila. From what my boss said, it seems that I was not doing enough. Does he know what he's asking me to do is too much? I've sacrificed a lot for this project and he thinks its still not enough?
For the first time, after all the BAD things that happened in our project, I broke down. I was able to handle all pressure and all the awful things that we encountered. But knowing that I FAILED to meet someone's expectations when I know I've done my best really frustrates me. That night, I was so weak and I felt numb. I lost my drive to work.
The next day, my boss taught me how to handle the issues and how to catch up. 'Friends' na ulit kami. With the approach that he taught me, it made me put things in better perspective and it seems that everything is manageable. It just takes an event like this to clear my mind. |
posted by subhuman @ 5:30 PM  |
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